Today I feel rotten.
My day at work was a little hectic... nothing too crazy but just enough to test my patience and wear me thin. Emelia, as usual, hardly napped at daycare at all making for a crabby baby. Of course she was hungry when we got home so I tried to get her to nap. YEAH RIGHT!
I knew the longer she went before falling asleep, the worse it was going to get to GET her to sleep.
And I was right!
She finally got mad enough to want to eat again and most likely take a nap... she had the tired cry and was rubbing her eyes. She got just about asleep when she lost interest in eating, which is fine, so I laid her down while silently praying to God to let her sleep.
Yeah, well, wishful thinking. She immediately started screaming bloody murder. I walked out of her room, which sometimes is all it takes for her to quit fussing and roll over to sleep. Not today. She screamed and screamed. Meanwhile, there sits my husband, who is always saying "Just lay her down and walk away, she'll fall asleep, she does for me." (I'm so tired of people telling me "she does for me").
She continued to scream at the top of her lungs and I couldn't take it anymore. I snapped! I got up from the couch, went outside, and sat in my car. Eventually, John came out to see what the heck I was doing and he just didn't understand that I couldn't take it anymore.
When I finally came in, he had her in the living room and she immediately started screaming when she saw me. I lost it, started bawling myself....
Ugh, she WAS asleep, screaming now.... that was a short ass nap :(
This is one hell of a day that will never end. And do I ever feel like a bad mommy today for being so short and impatient with everyone. Emelia deserves better, I know that, but I am just at my wit's end and spread so damn thin I feel like I'm not even me.
I suppose this is all part of it, but I am hating these kinds of days and it's these kinds of days that make having more kids out of the question. The hardest part is getting John to understand that. He is currently going somewhere to do something... all by himself. Something I haven't done in a very, very long time.
I suppose I've complained enough and Emelia has not fallen back asleep so I best get off of here. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for us all.
Hi. I'm so sorry that you feel like you have no support. Don't feel guilty though for having a hard time. I know how you feel. With my first son I was so stressed and tired and had no support, I had Postpartum depression. I realized the symptoms around the time my son turned 6months. Sometimes we just need a break!
ReplyDeleteI would have a talk with the daycare about making sure they give her proper naps at the first sign that she is tired. Are they providing her with a quiet environment to nap in? They work for you! Don't be afraid to tell them what your expectations are!
Thanks for the support Tiffany! It was a rough day. I have talked to the daycare and they are awesome. They work Emelia's schedule around theirs so at naptime, when it's quiet, she takes her nap. It isn't so much that the daycare is loud, it has more to do with my daughter is NOSEY! She is so afraid to miss anything. She's the same way at home, lately, too. :) I think some teething is happening, too, which isn't helping matters! Thanks again for helping me feel not so alone with the way I feel! It makes a TON of difference!! :)
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